Shortly after Amy and I got married we were visiting with some old family friends of her parents. They were the funniest pair that you would ever meet. They’d kid around and laugh in a way that only a couple that has spent several decades together could. With marriage fresh on my mind and the newlywed glow probably emanating from my persona like the bat signal to passers by, I was absorbing all the wisdom I could from those that had lived it. The joyous couple had been married for over 50 years and he was career military. I knew, having been immersed within that life as an Air force brat, that kinda love is not easy.
“If you had to give one piece of advice as to what has most impacted your marriage for success, what would it be?” I asked. His tone changed from the ‘fun jokester, life of the party’ to something serious and intentional, as if knowing the weight of what he was about to say more than any other man in the room.
“I may have done a lot of things, but I never lied. Always tell the full truth and your wife will never have a reason to doubt you.”
Not that I would have lied, but those words continued to permeate my heart and mind throughout our marriage and they probably will forever. It’s not just about lying to cover something up, but its about your wife being able trust where you are leading your family through the rough patches in life. You just will not be able to lead and grow your marriage effectively if you lie to her or even if she witnesses you not being honest with others.
There are certainly many other aspects of integrity but strong moral uprightness has its precept on what is honest and above reproach. That is where we start to put handles on this idea. We all struggle with integrity. If we didn’t we’d be without fault. If we are all being honest here, this is a truth we must face before we decide to be different; to grow and be better than we are.
There is no good reason to not be completely honest. Is the rough financial road that you are on only about to get worse? Are you struggling with a hidden addiction? Was it you that really ate the rest of that bag of Doritos that your wife was hoping to keep and snack on at work? Don’t hide it, don’t lie about it. In hard times my wife and I lived by the the truth that its far better to answer honestly than to give a false sense of security promising things that you can’t deliver- That’s about as good as a boldfaced lie! Don’t cheapen your word to have a fleeting peace. My friend Andy said it best just tonight, “If your faith and confidence is in the economy or your finances then you’re on shaky ground. Instead, build your faith into God’s solid foundation.” Your wife may not be happy in the moment, but she will love, honor, trust, and ride the road with you and your integrity to higher ground!
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