Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14)
…commit to surround our marriage with married couples that would help to guide & encourage us.
One of Amy’s brilliant suggestions to this series was the importance of having strong couples relationships in our lives. As men we might roll our eyes at the suggestion of hanging with our wives friend and her husband. You don’t even know the guy! Besides we don’t make dates with dudes to see if we can be friends, we do battle at a pickup games of basketball or at some happen-stance very manly situation. Then we’d figure out if we’d be bros or not! [Insert chest bump here] I feel ya, but if you’re reading this, there’s a fair chance that you value something more than what’s comfortable.
There are several reasons why friendships are a must in a marriage. For the sake word count, here are just three:
- Married friends are important because you need to know that you ain’t LOCO! Many of the struggles that we encounter in life or in marriage has been shared by others! When the heat gets turned up often the last thing that we want to do is talk about it or seek counsel from others. Sometimes we are so concerned about how we might be seen by others that we’d rather isolate, leaving our undealt with junk concealed to grow massive fugly mold spores slowly eating away at the love that is so important to us.
- Living the single’s life as a married will starve your marriage of its necessary nutrition! That’s not to say that you can’t hangout with your single friends; it just means that the balance of married friendships should far outweigh them. If you’re hanging out will all singles, you are going to want to do what they do, but it just don’t jive! Realizing this, you’ll be faced with either finding more married friends or you’ll start to grow bitter or angry against your wife whose beginning to feel like the marriage is growing apart from ‘one flesh’ to ‘two singles.’
- Marriage mentoring musters moxy! It’s a great idea to have a healthy mix of older couples, younger couples as well as couples around the same stage as you. Cultivating these friendships builds endurance because you see others on the same path in different stages. It’s a whole lot easier training for a race with others cheering and running along side you than it is running alone!
Building these relationships doesn’t happen over night, but its never too late to start. You’ll meet some who your wife connects with but you don’t and vice versa. Keep seeking & praying for the right connections. It may be very uncomfortable in the beginning, but God wants us to be comfortably uncomfortable for him. Soon you’ll wonder how you and your bride could’ve ever gotten through that rough patch with out your friends.